A Reader: "A Clockwork Orange" by Anthony Burgess

As always, this is not a book report. Rather, it is an opportunity to discuss some themes that stuck with me while reading “A Clockwork Orange” by Anthony Burgess.

Character Development

It can be fiction or non-fiction. It makes no difference because they share a foundational need for any good story. Character development and the quality of it makes or breaks a book. We may love and/or loathe the character we are reading but we must witness their growth over the course of the book. If we don’t, then more often than not, a story is a failure. Here, Burgess gives us an unlikeable character who is hellbent on destruction and thievery. This character is then arrested, forced through the prison system, tortured, retrained, and set loose back into society. We may not like the character. We may root against him but at least his character arcs from the first page to the last.

What Are They Saying?

The characters in this book speak a foreign language version of English. For the first third of the book, you won’t have a clue what they are discussing. You may become frustrated, lost, and irritated. You may even think of putting the book down. Instead of abandoning ship, I would encourage you to stay the course. Much like being dropped into the middle of a culture surrounded by people talking a language you don’t speak, you will adapt. By the time you reach the second third of the book, the words will become a second language to your ears and eyes. You may not understand every single word, but you will get the gist.

Prisoners

Crowded prisons have become a way of life in the United States. Since most of us don’t interact with people in prison, nor do we spend much time there, we don’t give it much notice. This book encouraged me to begin giving this some serious thought. Instead of prisons built as punitive systems, perhaps we could construct systems of rehabilitation focused on showing inmates the error of their ways, correcting those learned and/or innate behaviors, and properly releasing them back to society. This may sound costly, but as far as society is concerned it is the right thing to do.

Torture

The lead character in this book is selected for a new program meant to brainwash prisoners into reforming. With his eyes propped open, he is forced to watch countless hours of violence, rape, death, disease, and disgust all to reform him. As you read this section of the book, your mind will naturally wonder to thoughts of torture and the supposed moral arguments surrounding it. For me, I couldn’t help but think about CIA black sites where “enemy combatants” were held against their will. My mind conjured up thoughts of waterboarding, sleep deprivation, and humiliation all in the name of protecting America. I believe, as I do now, and this book reinforced my beliefs, torture is wrong on every single level.

Change

Our lead character leaves prison a changed man. The brainwashing worked. No longer is he drawn to fits of violence and chaos. Instead, he acts like an abused dog unable to defend itself. Of course, this doesn’t last long, and he is lured back into the life. When we think all hope is lost, he does what we all do naturally. He compares himself to people he respects and admires. Then, and only then, does he realize he must change. The impetus for change does not come from forcing him to do so. No, it is internal. When we work with inmates, this is the center we must chase.

Be good to each other,

-Nathan

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Musical Thesis: Wilco "Schmilco"

At the center of every album is a musical thesis. While not every album is a concept album, each collection of songs, when pulled together, paints a story. For Wilco “Schmilco,” I hear songs of a band standing in the present and longing for the past. At first, this begins with the concept of aging. It happens naturally to all of us as we escape the spring of our years and slowly fade into autumn. We begin longing for the way things were. This is fine if we do it with a forgiving heart. Remember the generation behind you is a product of every decision your generation made.

In many of these songs, Jeff Tweedy and the gang sound nostalgic and heartbroken. Given the world, we live in and the political climate we currently find ourselves, this is more than understanding. I, for one, long for a day when politics doesn’t dominate every aspect of our lives. Sometimes, I fear we have gone too far down the rabbit hole to ever recover. When I listen to this album, I hear a band who is fearful of the same.

Finally, I hear songs fearful of the change yet to come. If we have indeed gone too far down the rabbit hole and things are only going to get worse, what in the hell is next? For our children, our species, our planet, this terrifies me. Will anything ever be normal again? Are we supposed to adjust to this new reality without hesitation? Will this album be all I have to comfort me and make me realize that I am not alone? I hope not.

Be good to each other,

-Nathan

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Things I Used to Believe, Part III

I used to believe the leadership needed to be loud. Leadership needed to be speeches, pep talks, and strategy reinforced to anyone who would listen. As a person, who is attempting to be a leader in his own right, I now realize my arrogance as an extrovert. I looked at the people I admire. They gave big speeches, constantly worked to encourage large swaths of people, and always vocalized the vision and how to get there. In my snobbery, I looked down on those introverts who move mountains more quietly. I thought of them as incapable and unable to motivate others. I am now discovering that I couldn’t have been more wrong.

A leader can be quiet and still be a force to be reckoned. When I think about how Bill Gates has changed philanthropy through his giving and the role he possesses at the Gates Foundation, I don’t see an extrovert changing the world. Without a doubt, he is giving speeches at the UN, using social media channels to influence others, and meeting with heads of state. Still, I see someone who is uncomfortable in those positions. I imagine someone much more comfortable with behind the scenes work, focused on policy, and in the presence of small teams attempting to do the most good.

When I look at my own life, I now realize to lead I don’t need to move masses. I can lead in one-to-one interactions. I can lead a team. I can lead an organization with nothing more than my actions. I can retire notions often used in movies of leaders of rebellions giving big talks about the moment at hand. Instead, I can begin to discover the power of building relationships with those around me. The motivation I hope to amplify can be found in nothing more than my willingness to do good in this world.

To be a leader, it is not necessary to change the world. We are to commit ourselves to the idea of changing someone’s world. When we make this commitment, we set ourselves up to partake in a ripple effect. Our change begins small and works its way outward. With every circle, a larger group of people, places, and things are encircled. Eventually, these ripples will reach the water’s edge. When they do, we should find joy in the distance they have traveled, no matter the size of the body of water.

So, I am here to formally apologize to all those introverts out there changing the world. I see you. I understand you. I respect you. Perhaps, most important of all, I can’t wait to mirror your leadership for a change.

Be good to each other,

-Nathan

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Things I Used to Believe, Part IV

When I was a little kid, I used to have a recurring nightmare about burning in hell when I died. At the age of 5, this was a very powerful and vivid picture in my mind. This idea of eternal damnation was planted at an early age. My entire life revolved around my Southern Baptist Church where I had been in attendance since the beginning of my life. From the pulpit, I heard tales of hell, fire, and brimstone. If I didn’t accept Jesus Christ as my personal lord and savior, this tortuous fate would be mine.

I used to believe death was only the beginning. I thought of our lives as finite. In the grand scheme of the universe, they occupied nothing more than a short period of time. If we believed in the grace of Jesus, we would be delivered to heaven where we would live eternally knowing no pain throughout infinity. When you are little kid, scared of what awaits you when your head hits the pillow, there is great comfort to be found in the stories of the bible. Your choice to be saved is such an easy escape route from what scares you most. Wanting to escape a fate I barely understood, I believed them. In the summer of 1991, I gave my life to Jesus. When I did, I sealed my fate. At the age of 8, I knew I would never know hell.

Now, I look at life differently. I no longer look at death as some beginning. Instead, I live a life where I know death to be the end. I have retired from my life stories of salvation, grace, heaven, and hell. Instead, I stand firmly in my ability to not know my fate. I have built a life where rationality wins the day, facts reign supreme, and this life is the only one I will ever have. I don’t know what fate awaits me beyond this world. I don’t know if anything awaits me beyond this world.

This new-found belief doesn’t mean I live a life without purpose. My morality comes from humanity itself and my reason for being is found in service to others. I am inclined to believe that my days are numbered, and I better make the most of them. Each day is a gift. In other words, I have avoided the concept of being “so heavenly minded, I am no earthly good.” Instead, I live every single day being earthly focused in the hopes of doing great things with my time on this planet.

My chase for meaning also doesn’t end because I don’t believe in an afterlife. Again, my meaning is derived from my fellow human beings, acts of services, and earthly experiences. I pause longer, breathe in the air more deeply, and look more intensely because I only get to do this once. My memories serve as opportunities to cherish experiences and I fully do so knowing I don’t get to live with the good thoughts later in heaven. This earth is where I take my stand and it is where I shall fall.

This change of beliefs is perhaps the most challenging of all. It divides people into camps and alienates others. When I speak of what I think to be true, people form a certain opinion of me. Some see a kindred spirit. Others are sure of my damnation. No matter where you fall, the experiences of this life should be intensified by knowing where you stand. If you believe in an afterlife, you should relish in the knowledge you only get to experience this creation of God’s once. If you don’t believe in an afterlife, you should live every day like it is your last. If both camps adopted this mindset, I truly believe our interactions would be more genuine, loving, and kind. We would worry less about collecting things to make us happy and we would spend more time amassing experiences to be proud of when our number is called.

Be good to each other,

-Nathan

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A Reader: “Listen to the Warm” by Rod McKuen

As always, this is not a book report. Rather, it is an opportunity to discuss a theme that stuck with me while reading “Listen to the Warm” by Rod McKuen.

I have been writing poetry since before I knew how to write poetry. It began as a way to collect my thoughts on a page, put the world in some sense of order, and express myself. Long before it was any good, it was a way to keep myself breathing and on this side of the Earth. What I have never done well is read poetry. Reading this book, which was given to me by a dear friend, changed that. Now, I am committed to the idea of experiencing the world through the eyes of poets.

Without a shadow of a doubt, Mr. McKuen was the right writer to begin this new journey. His poetry in this collection has a way of detailing the world around us. He takes everyday occurrences and abstract thoughts and gives them purpose. He applies meaning where we often leave none. He makes me want to be a better writer. More than that, he shifts desire into action. When I finished this book, I realized I had all the tools I would ever need to experience the world in new and exciting ways. For that, I will be eternally grateful.

Be good to each other,

Nathan

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A Mediocre Life

A mediocre life; a life lived less than well. A life without achievement. A life without purpose. A life of routine and monotony. A life without challenge. A life without impact. A life that is anything but memorable. A life spent just trying to make ends meet. A life without vision. A life lived but not experienced.

When I think of what it means to live a mediocre life, these are the pitfalls that come to my mind. These are choices to be avoided at all cost. These go beyond a fear of missing out or living a life you can brag about to your friends. These are words that take the form of a stake through the heart. These are words, if used to describe me on my deathbed, that would mean time wasted. These are not words without meaning. These are not words without a backstory.

Thinking back on my childhood, I can’t remember a time when my parents told me I couldn’t be whatever I wanted to be. My dreams were never stifled or belittled. My wishes for the future were never childish or impossible. My hopes weren’t fantasy. They were moments in time waiting to be captured. To get there, I needed grit, determination, vision, and commitment. I needed time and patience. I needed to do the work. If I did, everything would have a way of falling into place.

The place where I saw myself changed often and with every milestone in my life. What I wanted to do with my life at 13 is not what is happening at age 34. Priorities shifted, new values were established, and alternative lines were drawn in the sand. Never did I sell out. Never did I accept less than the best. Never did I settle. I continually push, try, fail, and learn all in an effort to honor the aspirations created by the environment I grew up in and the hopes I created for myself.

Still, I am not satisfied and with an intense passion, I hope to never be. There are still corners of this Earth unseen by me. There are cultures unexperienced. There is food that hasn’t been tasted. There is meaningful work still to be done. There are conversations waiting to be had. There is a life to be lived. There is a mediocre life to be avoided.

This drive and determination are a couple of the things I like most about myself. It is the greatest gift ever given to me by my parents. It defines every aspect of my life. It is the message I preach to new parents and those who think the time has passed them by without a chance to truly live. Sure, I am left restless and a hopeless wanderer. I may never know one place or a group of people for long, but I will die having lived. For me, there is nothing better in this world.

Be good to each other,

-Nathan

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Musical Evolution (2018)

Musical Evolution (2018)

“Little Wanderer” by Death Cab for Cutie

Musical Evolution is one song listened to often and analyzed through the lenses of time and change.

 According to iTunes, I have listened to “Little Wanderer” by Death Cab for Cutie 26 times. Given several iterations of my iTunes library and a play count that seems to mysteriously disappear from time to time, 26 rotations make this the most played song in my collection. With this series, I hope to visit this song and others on an annual basis to track how time has changed the feelings experienced and lessons learned from a particular piece of music.

When I listen to this song, I hear the following:

·         Holding on despite the distance

·         Something always getting in the way

·         Being supportive of your partner

·         Changing plans to stay in love

·         Someone as the foundation for the relationship

·         Falling back in love

I think we have all heard the old and tired phrase of absence making the heart grow fonder. I’ve never been a fan of long distance relationships, so I can’t speak to the validity of the argument. I do know what it feels like to need someone by your side. The wanting can be consuming. Time can creep between moments when you are with them. The person you love can become as necessary as the air you breathe. That is powerful. Choosing to hold on despite the distance when you find yourself so in love, is damn near godly.

If you stay in a relationship for any length of time, you will experience the idea of something always getting in the way. Life loves to throw you roadblocks. The world supports your love but also loves a good dose of drama. In this song, I hear motivation; a yearning to continue fighting for what you love and need.

In this song, I also hear someone being supportive of their partner. It is also a nice change of pace to experience a man waiting for his wife or girlfriend to return home. Long before we met the people we love, they had hopes and dreams for this life. They had things they hoped to accomplish. More often than not, we are in addition to the equation. We do ourselves and the relationship justice to remember that. We should also remain cognizant of our role to play in their dreams. This may mean changing plans to stay in love. This may mean assuming the role as the foundation for the relationship. This may mean falling back in love after their dreams are realized. Whatever it is, if the relationship is worth fighting for, then fight you shall.

Be good to each other,

-Nathan

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Cinephile No. 698 "The Post"

Cinephile No. 698 “The Post”

“Freedom of the Press”

A Review of "The Post” by Nathan H. Box

Director: Steven Spielberg, Writers: Liz Hannah, Josh Singer, Starring: Meryl Streep, Tom Hanks, Sarah Paulson

Rating: 4 Stars, SHOWTIME

The Plot

A cover-up that spanned four U.S. Presidents pushed the country's first female newspaper publisher and a hard-driving editor to join an unprecedented battle between the press and the government.

My Critique

“The Post” may be a historical piece about the release of the Pentagon Papers but it is impossible to watch without also analyzing the position we currently find ourselves. Scripts are written years in advance. Next, comes along a director looking for a new production, production schedules, casting, etc. Finally, we get a movie. This process can take years, if not longer. When a release date comes along, studios and the writers are left with a piece of cinema that may be viewed in a different light. In the Trump era, it is nearly impossible to keep him out of your mind while watching this movie.

“The Post” much like “Spotlight,” the Academy Award-winning film from a few years ago, is an ode to real journalism; the kind that has the power to shake the entire Earth. Here, our film begins with an embedded journalist on the frontline with soldiers in Vietnam. Soon after that experience, our journalist comes across what became known as the Pentagon Papers; documents outlining the truth behind the Vietnam War.

First, the documents are leaked to the New York Times. The Times spends months combing through the data, breaking it down for public consumption, and preparing for release. Meanwhile, the Washington Post, like every other paper, is unaware of this treasure trove of information. As the Times begins releasing information, they are hit with a court order to cease printing from the US government over the fear of the mass release of government secrets and troop safety. In the Time’s absence, the same papers fall into the lap of the Washington Post.

What makes The Washington Post story compelling is the woman in charge. Meryl Streep plays Kay Graham. She is the widow of the paper’s former owner and now finds herself in the driver’s seat as she begins to take the company behind the Post public. Repeatedly, we are confronted with the challenges facing women in the boardroom. The sexism Kay Graham faces may seem like a thing of the past, yet all we must do is pick up a paper to learn otherwise.

Playing alongside Streep is Tom Hanks who portrays Ben Bradlee. Bradlee is an old-school journalist and editor focused on the truth at all costs. His fearlessness and tenacity will inspire you to turn off Fox News and find some real journalists for a change.

As the Washington Post weighs the pros and cons of publishing the papers, it becomes clear the decision will fall on the shoulders of Graham. Here Streep shines as she becomes the manifestation of Atlas with the weight of the world on her shoulders. If she prints, she will find herself in court and could lose her company. If she doesn’t print, the government wins the right to influence what is printed and when.

Ultimately, her decision is well-documented in history. By printing, she secured a victory for the freedom of the press and helped end the war with truth. When this entire film is stitched together, it becomes a near flawless character analysis about those behind one of the biggest leaks in government history and the press who held that government accountable.

Be good to each other,

-Nathan

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Cinephile No. 697 "Phantom Thread"

“Steve Jobs with a Needle and Thread”

A Review of "Phantom Thread” by Nathan H. Box

Director: Paul Thomas Anderson, Writer: Paul Thomas Anderson, Starring: Vicky Krieps, Daniel Day-Lewis, Lesley Manville

Rating: 4 Stars, SHOWTIME

The Plot

Set in 1950's London, Reynolds Woodcock is a renowned dressmaker whose fastidious life is disrupted by a young, strong-willed woman, Alma, who becomes his muse and lover.

My Critique

There aren’t many guarantees in this life. Perhaps the only things you can count on for sure are death and taxes. After seeing “Phantom Thread,” I would like to propose a new bankable guarantee. Here it is… If Daniel Day-Lewis is going to appear in your film, prepare yourself for a master class on the craft of acting.

In Lewis’ Oscar-caliber performance, we meet Reynolds Woodcock, a man of fine precision, routine, and unbelievable creativity. The only person I could compare his character to is Steve Jobs except with a needle and thread. Woodcock is also a tortured man and artist. For him, love is second hand and always takes a backseat to the attention required to create stunning and exquisite dresses.

Thankfully, we Woodcock has a sister named Cyril played by Lesley Manville. Her roles in Reynolds’ world are varied. She plays bodyguard, emotional counsel, and conduit to the outside world. More than anyone else she understands her brother’s genius and the plight that comes with it.

Then, we meet Alma played by Vicky Krieps. She is a waitress from the English countryside who immediately captures the attention of Reynolds. She is whimsical, playful, and charming. Instantly, there is a bond between them that leaps off the screen. From their first interaction, it is as if they are being sewn together in some magical combination but knowing our lead as well as we do, we know this isn’t going to end well.

Why? Because Mr. Woodcock is a most unlikeable man, set in his ways, and still hasn’t learned how to put people above his craft. Alma, on the other hand, pulls people into her orbit, values relationships, and has something to contribute to almost everything she touches. At points in this movie, they are like competing hurricanes heading toward one another. When they collide, it is violent and painful. Yet, they share a linked life.

Repeatedly, Reynolds discovers his need for Alma. It first begins with an illness and only intensifies with each additional episode. In the big reveal, we discover why the dependence exists. When it happens, it will shock you and leave you questioning. Which is exactly what I craved from a movie such as this.

Be good to each other,

-Nathan

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I Resolve (2018)

I Resolve (2018)

A year ago, I began a meditation practice after taking a six-week introductory course on Buddhism and Meditation. Since then, I have logged nearly 1,000 minutes or 16 full hours of meditation. For me, it is easiest to do it right before bed and it takes about 10 minutes. Thanks to a wonderful app called Headspace, I focus on things like patience, anxiety, balance, sleeping well, and more. Every once in a while, I venture out to a temple to meditate with other people. There really isn’t anything like meditating in a group. Over the next year, I am committing myself to doing this more often and digging deeper into the Dharma (teachings) of the Buddha.

For 2018, I am resolving to focus on one thing. I am done with endless lists focused on the resolutions I would like to accomplish this year. Instead, I am giving the act of mindfulness my full attention, which is perfect because mindfulness asks the user to give one thought or action its full and necessary attention.

In our interconnected world with notifications, calendars, deadlines, and endless responsibilities, I am finding it more and more difficult to give life the attention it deserves. I find myself digging for my phone during quiet moments, running from one appointment to the next, sweating deadlines, and trying to keep a roof over our heads. While all this is happening, life is passing me by unnoticed. I am not pausing to focus on meaning. I am not giving moments both simple and grand the respect they deserve. I am not being fully present. In 2018, I would like to change that.

For me, a journey toward mindfulness will continue by strengthening my meditation practice and digging deeper into the teachings of the Buddha. It also means real world limits and barriers. I have created rules about checking my phone; 9 AM, 12 PM, 3 PM, and before I go to bed. When it comes to my calendar, I purposefully leave my Fridays open to catch up and focus. I am beginning projects sooner to relieve some of the stress put on deadlines. Finally, I am realizing the security found in my new job. Bills, savings, debt, and responsibilities are under control. With these practices in place, I am hoping to leave life open to be experienced.

One day, I will be on my deathbed. I don’t want to spend those final moments in regret. Rather, I want to die knowing I lived my life to the fullest extent possible. For me, this begins with mindfulness. From there, the possibilities are endless.

Be good to each other,

-Nathan

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