In 2011, I began my nonprofit career in earnest at Kent Youth and Family Services. In those early days, I was amid a new beginning, far from family, friends, and the only home I had ever known. Transition coupled with work in a new sector made those early days challenging. In a way, I felt as if I was being tested. Watching friends buy homes, get married, and travel, while I struggled to keep food on the table because of my chosen field, kept me wrestling with jealousy and a false sense of martyrdom.
Attempting to divorce my ego from my sense of suffering sent me searching for something I could use as a north star. I needed a roadmap, story, lesson, or guiding quote to shade myself from the harshness of my reality. Then, out of the blue and when I needed it most, I stumbled across the following Greek proverb.
“A society grows great when old men plant trees in whose shade they shall never sit.”
The first time I read this quote, I was stunned. I read it repeatedly, attempting to fully understand every word in the sentence. As I sat with it and reflected a little longer, I discovered exactly what I needed. Since then, it has become an unofficial mission statement for my life. I often pair it with a personal motto that sums up the decisions that have delivered me to this point in my life.
“I wholeheartedly reject the tyranny of the expected.”
In celebration of 15 years of Natetheworld, I want to dig deeper into the quote, explore my personal motto, and reveal a new quote that will guide the next chapter of my life.
If you and I found ourselves bellied up to a bar discussing the greatest challenges facing our country and the world, I would tell you that I am most concerned with the rampant selfishness and cynicism I see on almost every street corner. I am utterly baffled by those who see injustices in our housing/food systems, injustices in our economy, and injustices in our society, then decide it isn’t their problem. Even more unsettling, I am disheartened by those with the power to bring about real change, but too cynical to try.
If our society has any real chance of saving itself, it must be able to operate and sacrifice without immediate thoughts turning toward personal benefit. While we may not experience homelessness, we must understand that housing those without homes benefits us all. While we may have plenty to eat, we must understand the plight of those who do not. While we may have never experienced discrimination, we must work to undo structural inequities.
If humanity has any chance of seeing a new dawn, it must plant selfless seeds without much care given to whoever benefits. Said in another way, we must choose to give a damn. We must work tirelessly, and we must realize we may never see the fruits of our work. Yet, we must persevere, knowing society will be made better by the work we started.
In our world, this sort of thinking is not perceived as the norm. Ayn Rand devotees and “the greed is good” crowd would have you believe selfishness is the ultimate aim. They preach with little regard given to the fact that success rarely trickles down. They move forward with a survival of the fittest mentality, and without much thought given to those left behind.
I wholeheartedly reject this lone of thinking. In fact, I wholeheartedly reject the tyranny of the expected. Instead, I implore you to chart a different path. Make up your own mind about religion, politics, home, work, marriage, and kids. Chart a different path beyond those examples that served your parents and their parents. As you push this new frontier, always consider how you can be of the most good, using the talents and treasure you have been afforded. This isn’t a trickle. This is a ripple effect with unimaginable possibilities.
For more than 10 years, this thinking has guided my employment choices. It has influenced who I have loved, how I loved, who I vote for, the entertainment I consume, and so much else. As I pause on this moment, I see an opportunity to transition and sharpen my focus. This season of change begins with a new quote to full explore.
“Speak only if it improves upon the silence.” -Mahatma Gandhi
When I speak, both verbally and non-verbally, I want to be a person who adds value to the conversation. I want my words to matter and carry strength. I don’t want to be another person who fills awkward silence with nonsense. Instead, I want to be a person who relishes moments of quiet reflection as opportunities to cherish the power weaved into these moments. I want to promote reflection over instant reactions. I want to hear from people who aren’t the loudest or most boisterous voices in the room. When I speak, I want people to know they have been heard, and I have considered their words with my whole being.
In my attempt, I will fail. I will break the silence with a joke. I will misspeak or fail to make a solid point. But I will keep trying. I will keep trying, because I am confident on the other side of this unknown chasm is a better leader, husband, friend, and community member. In this belief, I find a connection to a quote which began this journey. This is yet another seed for me to plant.
Be good to each other,
Nathan