Musical Thesis: Billy Bragg “Must I Paint You a Picture”

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At the center of every album is a musical thesis. This thesis can be the driving force behind the album, a theme that interweaves songs together, or a feeling you are left with after the very last song plays. With some albums, the thesis is easy to find. On others, it is hidden and requires you to be more than a passive listener. These reviews are not about rating an album. Instead, it is about uncovering a musical thesis.  

If I fall in love with a band or an artist, I fall deeply in love. Spending time with their discography is never enough. I must listen to side projects and musicians who influenced their work. This musical wormhole can take me to fascinating places. Throughout the journey, I watch as my fascination with this art form expands in all directions.  

I learned of Billy Bragg via the Mermaid Avenue sessions with Wilco. Having spent considerable time with those records, I was hungry to hear more of Mr. Bragg’s work. Unsure of where to start, I picked up Must I Paint You a Picture. This compilation/greatest hits album served as the perfect introduction to a musician who has been at it since the late 1970s.  

Listening to this collection of songs, some themes kept presenting themselves: Self-referential artists, protest, and revolution.  

In the same vein as Woody Guthrie, Pete Seeger, and Bob Dylan, Billy Bragg possesses a unique ability to create protest music that is also engaging. In this collection alone, Between the Wars, There Is Power in a Union, Help Save the Youth of America, and Waiting for the Great Leap Forwards all serve as protest anthems. But they are more than that, because they also feel self-referential. I think this line from Waiting for the Great Leap Forwards is a perfect example.  

Mixing Pop and Politics he asks me what the use is 
I offer him embarrassment and my usual excuses 
While looking down the corridor 
Out to where the van is waiting 
I’m looking for the Great Leap Forwards 

By using this method when singing of revolution, it does not feel as if we are being preached down to behind the safety of some recording booth. Instead, it feels as if the singer is an active participant in the struggle. Lots of musicians use their art to speak about injustice, but it does not always feel as if they are in trenches with us. That does not feel like the case here, and that may be the thesis of this album. When does art meet action?  

Be good to each other,  

Nathan  

Cinephile No. 1,003 “The Whale”

Recommendation: 5/5 Stars, Showtime  

Plot: “A reclusive, morbidly obese English teacher attempts to reconnect with his estranged teenage daughter.” -IMDB 

Review: Cinema is at its most powerful when it tells stories of people and characters who are often unseen. In these spaces, films can become a vehicle for empathy, delivering us into spaces and situations often misunderstood or ignored. The Whale is such a story.  

Flipping through the channels, one doesn’t have to work too hard to stumble across programming about people struggling with their weight. In this search for “reality,” honest struggles, family dysfunction/dynamics, and a full picture are often missing. Hiding behind a black square on a video call, we meet Charlie (Brendan Fraser). Charlie is complex and reclusive. He is in love with the English language, passionate about inspiring the next generation of writers, and is desperate to see the best of everyone.  

In the opening scenes, Charlie suffers a cardiac event. Without medical intervention, Charlie will die. His best friend in the world, Liz (Hong Chau), is a nurse. Long ago, she retired from any notion of Charlie going to a hospital. Knowing the end is near, she works desperately to make her friend comfortable in his last days, but the clock is ticking and never ceases. As an audience member, this clock will render you helpless, frustrated, and hopeful. These emotions will stay with you until the very end.  

With mere days to live, Charlie attempts to make things right with an estranged daughter, Ellie (Sadie Sink). Ellie is a product of divorce and abandonment. She is angry and lashing out at the world. She is angry at her father, her mother, school, and the world. Charlie will spend every ounce of energy in his remaining days attempting to reach her. Ellie pushes back violently, delivering lines of dialogue that cut like a knife.  

Charlie also spends much of this film entertaining, debating, and pushing back against a young missionary, Thomas (Ty Simpkins), who refuses to turn away from a mission to save Charlie’s soul before the end. In every interaction with each person who enters his apartment, Charlie’s humanity shines brightly. He never stops believing in the best in people, even when he disagrees with them.  

In the film’s last act, we come to understand that history is truth. Charlie wasn’t always this big. A series of heartbreaking events delivered him to this cataclysmic point in time. In his struggle, I believe the filmmakers want us to hold a mirror up to ourselves. All alone, we will watch him succumb to temptation, settle into his reality, battle his past demons, and attempt to leave behind something meaningful. This battle is one of the most emotionally crippling scenes I have ever seen committed to film.  

Leaving the theater, I cried all the way to my car. I also wrestled with my sadness and past. Whose pain and struggles have gone unseen by me? Who have I hurt? Who is waging a private war I will never fully understand? If this film should make the audience more empathetic and caring, then I would say it more than accomplished its mission.  

Be good to each other,  

Nathan  

Point B: An Oklahoma Reunion

Trips back home to Oklahoma are less about sightseeing or stops I think you cannot miss. Oklahoma is home. Oklahoma is a place I left eleven years ago. When I return, my writing usually zeroes in on things I observed. This trip was no different.  

Uncle  

I have had countless titles throughout my life. I have been called by many positions, but nothing really compares to the feeling of joy I get when being called Uncle Nathan.  

I have never wanted children of my own. That doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy being around them. All my nephews and nieces make me laugh, smile, and experience a changing world through their eyes. There is always an exchange of wisdom, and I love being asked to share some of what I have learned. Perhaps, my most favorite thing is that I get to experience the best of them. Unlike their parents, I rarely encounter their foul moods or poor attitudes. When they are with me, they are the best versions of themselves.  

She Lives Alone  

As a child, I hated the idea of my Granny Box living alone. Even then, I hoped my parents would have a long and happy life together. With an empty nest, I hoped they would travel the country, explore, and enjoy complete freedom. Life had other plans.  

My father passed away in 2020 after a long and arduous battle with cancer. Now, one of my mom’s new titles is “widow.” While my mom is fiercely independent, I can hear it in her voice when I call, and I see it in her actions when I am in town that she is still navigating how to be alone. She fills her time with friends, grandkids, and countless obligations, but when she goes home at night, she is all alone. This is a fate I never wanted for her. This is a fact of life that makes it nearly impossible to hop on a plane and leave her there.  

Meers/The Wichita Mountains 

I have been coming to Meers and the Wichita Mountains all my life, but it has been 10+ years since my last visit. As a child, the height of Mt. Scott astounded me. As an adult who has hiked considerably the mountains of Washington and California, what used to astound me now seems so small in comparison. This perception does not detract from what makes this place special. Anywhere that we humans have carved out space to conserve and hold special is a place worthy of my admiration.  

Working Remotely  

In the pandemic's wake, the very nature of work has transformed. It took a public health crisis to reveal some simple truths. Technology has finally made it possible to work anywhere and remain productive. Employees no longer need to be chained to a desk for hours on end. Collaboration and teamwork can happen anywhere.  

In this shift, I doubted my ability to find joy in remote work. I am an extrovert and some of my best friends in life are friends who began as co-workers. When I found my current job at Mercy Housing Northwest, they told me about an additional benefit. Employees would only be required to be in the office two days a week and we also had thirty days of "work from anywhere time" to use as we see fit.  

Instantly, my attitude about remote work changed. For the first time in my professional career, I would find a balance between work and life. My trips to Oklahoma no longer had to be cut short because I needed to rush home for work. My office could be anywhere I wanted.  

Clayton  

As kids, Clayton and I were incredibly close. As we aged, our interests changed, and we started walking our own paths. Despite this, I have never wavered in my love or respect for Clayton. I am so profoundly proud of the man he has become. He is a better father and husband than I could have ever imagined.  

Observing him over the years, I think a need to rise to the occasion has defined Clayton’s life. With his back up against the wall, he has continued to defy the odds and prove people wrong. As a man in his thirties, he finally appears to be comfortable in his own skin and sure of himself.  

Leaving Them Here 

Each member of my family is writing their own story. They are writing these stories without me there. The monumental shift in their narrative catches my eye from a distance, but the details connecting these peaks are often unknown to me. With every visit, I feel like a character with a recurring role in their story. I pop in for scripted visits, but the story continues when I leave.  

OKC/LA 

Driving around the Oklahoma City metro, a thought rushes over me. I have seen all this before. The metro is becoming an area defined by endless sprawl. We measure cities by the time it takes to cross them thanks to an endless sea of stoplights. We find density in the urban core, but almost nowhere else. Each city seems to be built with the automobile in mind and not the pedestrian. I have seen this before. I have experienced this before. Oklahoma City is repeating the mistakes of Los Angeles.  

With no real geographic points of interest, the land is becoming an endless sea of shopping centers and big box stores. Public transportation is virtually nonexistent, and not something those of means ever use. The single-family home is still king, and nothing feels walkable. This has been true of Los Angeles for the last 50+ years and it is now true of Oklahoma City.  

LA now finds itself forced to build for density and mass transit. A lack of affordability and decreasing quality of life demanded it. When will the citizens of OKC make the same demands?

20 Years 

20 years ago, the Lambda Iota Chapter of Pi Kappa Alpha was established at the University of Central Oklahoma. This was the reason for my trip. It is also a theme I want to give some more consideration via a longer essay. For now, I will say being in this room with these men celebrating our common connection filled my soul. Reconnecting, laughing, and reminiscing filled my tank in countless ways.  

Gay Brothers in Oklahoma City  

Since its founding twenty years ago, the Lambda Iota Chapter has become more accepting of those belonging to the LGBTQ+ community. As a man who went through college closeted, I never imagined in a million years there would be enough of us to take a group photo at a Pike reunion. I never imagined brothers bringing their partners to a gathering such as this. The thought of us hopping from gay bar to gay bar in OKC never seemed possible. I dreamed these thoughts, but never thought it possible. Time proved me wrong and healed a lot of wounds.  

Mark Scott  

My three best friends live in Oklahoma City. I have had no friendships in Seattle and LA that compare to the quality of the relationships I made in OKC. One of those friends is Mark Scott. For over 10 years, Mark Scott has been like a brother to me. Through good times and bad, he has been in my corner cheering for me. Words cannot express what his friendship has meant to me.

Be good to each other,  

Nathan  

Cinephile No. 1,000 “EO”

Recommendation: 3/5 STREAM  

Plot: “Follows a donkey who encounters on his journeys good and bad people, experiences joy and pain, exploring a vision of modern Europe through his eyes.” -IMDB 

Review: Before jumping into the review for EO, I want to pause for a moment. This film marks my 1,000th movie in a theater. Naturally, I am feeling nostalgic.  

I love art in all its forms, but I love the art of cinema the most. When the lights lower and the room fills with light and sound, I am transported elsewhere. For a couple of hours every week, my concerns vanish at the door. I am afforded opportunities to laugh and to cry. On the best days, I am transformed. At the worst, I am baffled by my inability to connect with a film. 

The first movie I can remember seeing was Batman starring Michael Keaton. I remember seeing Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls for my birthday in the 7th grade. I remember impatiently waiting to get my license at 16. I wanted the freedom to drive to Lawton, Altus, or Wichita Falls to catch a movie on a Friday night. I remember college and the start of a Sunday tradition of heading to the movies with my fraternity brothers; a tradition I continue every Sunday. I remember my first film festival, going to the movies alone for the first time, and every friend who has gone on this journey with me. I remember reading my first published review in a newspaper, a friend inviting me to write again, and invitations to appear on podcasts. 

Yes, this obsession of mine is dorky. But this hobby of mine has taken me to fantastic places. I’ve met actors, stood on red carpets, attended world premieres, written hundreds of thousands of words about movies, held my own screening, and argued film with friends both near and far. 

This art form has changed me for the better. The cinematic experience is changing, and art-house films are struggling. Yet, I will keep attending as long as there is a seat for me, always with the hope of a transformative experience. 

Now, back to the review.  

EO opens on the center ring of a circus. Strobing red lights direct our attention to a donkey lying flat on his back. Instantly, intrigue takes over. Performing alongside a young woman who cares for EO, they receive a scattering of applause from the audience in attendance.  

Outside the big top, protesters scream, and chant rehearsed slogans. They believe the circus is a den of animal cruelty. They might be right, but not before the tax man closes the show for good. Repossessed, EO begins a journey. The journey before him and what we are supposed to learn along the way isn’t clear, but there is joy to be found in not knowing.  

In this movie, EO will work on a farm. He will escape. EO will confront the unpredictable wild. He will head for a more familiar cityscape. EO becomes a football team's mascot. Rival fans will attempt to take his life. EO will survive to become property once again. He becomes an object of religious symbolism. And EO will meet animals meant for slaughter.   

The journey of this special animal gives us pause. With each episode, the filmmakers ask us to question man’s relationship with animals. Using the camera intimately, the filmmakers humanize EO. Shown to possess human emotions; they stage this animal as more than a beast. The color red will continue to visit the screen as a way of grabbing our attention and forcing the audience to bear witness. Much of this film is not driven by dialogue. Instead, the silent gazes of an animal looking for love move the story forward.  

I have written this phrase countless times, but it bears repeating. All films have a thesis. EO wants its audience to ask profound questions about how we treat animals. To varying degrees, it achieves this aim. As an audience member, you will have to wrestle with your response to that thesis. For me, the execution felt heavy-handed and academic. This film can feel as if a finger is being pointed straight at the audience. While I fully acknowledge we must do a better job of caring for all creatures with whom we share this planet, I wonder if this type of storytelling was the best approach.  

Be good to each other,  

Nathan  

Sauce (The Gin Diary): The Last Word

Cocktail: The Last Word 

Ingredients: .75oz. Gin, .75oz. Lime Juice, .75oz. Maraschino Liqueur, .75oz. Green Chartreuse, Twist of Lime Peel or Maraschino Cherry 

Directions: Add Gin, Lime Juice, Maraschino Liqueur, and Green Chartreuse to a cocktail shaker. Fill with ice. Shake and strain into a coupe glass. Garnish with a twist of lime or a maraschino cherry.  

Bartender Reaction: In my humble, home-bar, cocktail enthusiast opinion, The Last Word may be the perfect cocktail. It is everything I love about gin. In this cocktail, gin’s floral notes shine brightly, yet there is a balance with the added sweetness of lime juice and Maraschino Liqueur. Green Chartreuse adds complexity and brilliance to a glass already bursting with flavor. This cocktail is a classic for a reason.  

If you want to see all that gin can do beyond tonic water and a twist of lime, I recommend giving this classic cocktail a try. All the ingredients should be readily available at any well-stocked liquor store, and they will be bottles you will reach for with some regularity.  

Be good to each other,  

Nathan  

Out/Back: Tieton River Nature Trail

As summer gives way to fall, I look east of the Cascades for hiking trails. With everything west of the mountains soaked in rain, my mind wanders toward drier stretches of trail. Given the season, this often means hiking in colder than usual temperatures, navigating mountain passes, and trail conditions.  

For this outing, I turned my attention to the Tieton River Nature Trail outside of Yakima, Washington. Eastern Washington is rolling hills and treeless stretches. Western Washington is lush green forests. For me, I always find this change of scenery inspiring. It also serves as an opportunity to test my trail knowledge in new and exciting ways.  

Given that the trail sits next to a river in a canyon, the Tieton River Nature Trail feels like an oasis with trees lining both sides of the bank. On the weekend I visited in late November, the trail spent much of the day covered in shadows. Thanks to an early season of snow and rain, ice covered much of the trail. At first, I did not give this much thought. Astounded by the beauty of the setting, I was blind to the scale of the challenge before me.

A mile and a half into the trail, the elevation picks up. On the last weekend in November, this meant the slightest change in the slope turned the trail into a slide. Taking the smallest of steps, I did my best to navigate the tricky terrain. Before long, this became an impossible feat. Rubber soled hiking shoes without the use of micro-spikes meant I slipped and slid more times than I count. At the two-mile mark, I threw in the towel and began making my way back to the trailhead. My body could not take any more abuse. 

I always feel defeated when I cannot finish a hike and this time was no different. Despite the beauty of the drive from Seattle to Yakima via Snoqualmie Pass, driving two and half hours to not accomplish something is frustrating. It is especially frustrating knowing that I had the proper tools to hike this trail in any condition. I just was not prepared. There is a powerful lesson to be learned from this.  

I may feel defeated, but I am not giving up. I will return to this trail and finish what I started. Next time, I am hoping to reach higher elevations, hoping to find some much-needed solitude while basking in the glory of the Yakima valley laid out before me.  

Be good to each other,  

Nathan 

The Cinephile’s Journey: Crash

Recommendation: 4/5 Stars  

The Cinephile’s Journey is an attempt to watch and review every film that has won The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences Oscar for Best Picture.  

Plot: “Los Angeles citizens with vastly separate lives collide in interweaving stories of race, loss and redemption.” 

Review: Looking at a few movie review websites, no Best Picture winner divides like Crash. Reading thoughtful reviews from my fellow critics, I see countless conversations around the trivialization of racial and class divides. I also see talk concerned with an overly simplistic plot and moments of levity that land in awkward moments in the film. Before offering my thoughts on this movie, as part of an attempt to watch and review all Best Picture winners, I want to say these opinions have given me pause and much to consider. Watching this movie as a white man and then reading the opinions from different minority groups opened my eyes to a new world. As you read on, please know I am still wrestling with those opinions and my discomfort.  

For three years, I called Los Angeles home. Living there changed the way I absorbed this film and my experience with it. The differences between my initial viewing and the latest are many. Most present for me is that I now possess a better understanding of the complex threads holding together one of America’s great metropolises. Having lived there drastically shifted the way I viewed this film, because Los Angeles is a character in this movie, and is as present as any actor on screen.   

Los Angeles is a melting pot of ideas, cultures, races, ethnicities, socio-economic classes, identities, and beliefs. It is a complex place to live. It is also a massive city with an enormous population stretching across a land mass bigger than some states.  

The central theme that this film attempts to wrestle with is that of race. In my estimation, it tries to personify the complexities of sharing a space with such a diverse population. No one presented on the screen is without sin, nor are they without qualities we would all desire in our neighbors. Each character in this movie is part sinner and part saint. More than that, each walks the Earth carrying past trauma with them. This trauma stems from violent events, sexual assault, racism, xenophobia, classism, and much more. This trauma, coupled with the complexities of character, delivers people with shifting positions of power and influence. In my estimation, this is where this film shines.  

This film is also an essay focused on what it means to live in a major city such as Los Angeles. Living in such a place can often mean life is defined by time spent in a car within reach of people who all possess their own unique stories and challenges. On freeways, city sidewalks, or open spaces, these people often appear like molecules constantly bumping into each other. I think this film wants us to consider those interactions and question the waves of distrust and hurt we often bring to those moments. Sharing space with strangers is no simple task, but when done well, the true nature of a city reveals itself.   

Finally, and more broadly, I think this is more than a film. I believe it is an essay about American society. Released in the wake of the events surrounding 9/11, long gone are those warm, fuzzy, patriotic emotions that followed the immediate aftermath. The society presented on screen is more angry, distrustful, and quick to violence than ever before. Moments of compassion and understanding are hard to find in this movie. I am not, and I do not think America is as cynical and as pessimistic as the story we witness here. But I think it wants us to consider those initial moments of togetherness that followed that moment of infamy.  

Without a doubt in my mind, this is not a perfect movie. It also is not nearly as perfect as I deemed it to be when I first watched it. Taking into consideration the views of my fellow critics, I have many issues with it, but for what it asks me to consider and ponder, I cannot help but admire the effort.  

Be good to each other,  

Nathan  

Cinephile No. 981 “Bros”

Recommendation: 4/5 SHOWTIME  

Plot: “Two men with commitment problems attempt a relationship.” -IMBD 

Review: When Brokeback Mountain was released in 2005, I was not yet out. I was in college, dating a woman, and living a lie. This lie was something I feared would stay buried deep within me for the rest of my life. Watching this film, I did not really connect with the ruggedness of cowboy life, but I related to the moments of quiet truth. Just like the characters on the screen, I sneaked around, lied, and worked desperately to rise above that which tempted me.

I watched Bros as a 38-year-old man who is finally comfortable in his own skin. My days of sneaking around are long gone. I am engaged to a man who I have been openly dating for over 7 years. We are thinking of buying a house and are busy planning life’s next steps.  

A subplot to this film is happening outside of the cinema. It is meant to be groundbreaking. Sure, they centered its story on two white, cis-gendered, males living privileged lives in one of America’s wealthiest cities (all facts this film is hyper-aware of from the beginning). But for the first time, movie attendees will get a sense of what it is like to be a gay man dating in the 21st century.  

In my estimation, a romantic comedy (for all the faults of the genre) is the perfect vehicle for this sort of story. What amazed me about this film is how quickly it shifts from groundbreaking to generic. As it settled into the tropes of the genre (opposites attract, the awkwardness of dating, moments of truth, moments where everything falls apart, and an ending we always see coming), I slowly forgot that I was watching a love story about two men. Instead, I found myself concerned with the two flawed human beings before me. Every film has a thesis, and ultimately this film is attempting to accomplish two things. For straight audiences, it wants to normalize these stories, pull back the curtain, and reveal how much we have in common. For members of the LGBTQ+ community, it is attempting to plant a flag and make sure visibility is front and center.

When considering the aims of this film, I think it achieves its mission. It arrives at its goal with humor and heart. Along the way, it wrestles with political correctness, code-switching, hook-up culture, shifting attitudes around monogamy, and the various shades of gay. 

I am proud we have arrived at a point in time where a story such as this can be told. Looking inward, I am proud of myself for my journey of self-acceptance. Based on box office returns, we still have miles to travel, but it should not deter us. Storytelling is how we win these battles.

Be good to each other,  

Nathan  

The Cinephile’s Journey: The Departed

Recommendation: 4/5 Stars  

The Cinephile’s Journey is an attempt to watch and review every film that has won The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences Oscar for Best Picture.  

Plot: “An undercover cop and a mole in the police attempt to identify each other while infiltrating an Irish gang in South Boston.” -IMDB 

Review: Unlike a lot of other movies that seem to take home the award of Best Picture, there is no great lesson or insight to glean from The Departed. You will not walk away from this film as a more empathetic person with a better understanding of some long-ignored community. This is an award winner because it is an ode to great storytelling. Simple as that.  

Before diving deeper, I must mention my only complaints about this film. The dialogue is a little too smooth. On multiple occasions, I thought to myself, no one talks like this. No one. Second, after all these years, I am still not crazy about the bloodbath ending of this movie. To me, it feels cold and contrived. On both counts, I know people who will defend the screenwriting of this film. Neither of my complaints distracts from the overall power of the film (which is saying something considering one of those complaints is the resolution of the story).  

If one of my chief complaints about this film is how it ends, then how can I still consider it to be a near perfect movie? It begins with a stellar cast. Normally, a cast with this many A-list celebrities makes me nervous. This much talent has a way of folding under the weight of expectation. Not here, and it begins with Jack Nicholson as Costello, the kingpin of South Boston. Nicholson’s performance in this film is menacing, maddening, and enthralling. You will hang on to his every word (no matter how offensive).  

Second, the core of this story is strong. The bulk of the movie focuses on Leonardo DiCaprio as Billy, a Boston police officer who works to infiltrate Costello’s crew, and Matt Damon as Colin, a Boston police officer who is on Costello’s payroll. As both men sow seeds of distrust and play spies for the other side, this movie becomes a tale of cat and mouse as the cops face close calls and become consumed by the constant need to lie. When the yarn finally comes undone, it does in the most violent fashion.  

From every angle, death abounds in this film. Without a doubt, Director Martin Scorsese’s fingerprints are all over this thing. As its last chapter unfolds, you must decide how the ending lands for you. In the end, this movie is not supposed to make you feel good. You aren’t supposed to learn anything. You are supposed to fall back in love with the power of storytelling for the sheer joy of telling stories.  

Be good to each other,  

Nathan