I have been a professional, nonprofit fundraiser for 10 years now. I have fundraised for a youth development organization. I have worked to meet the financial goals of a permanent supportive housing provider on Skid Row. I have helped build a fundraising program for a nonprofit working to end isolation for homeless neighbors in Hollywood. Now, I am working to amplify the reach of a senior center in West Seattle.  

Throughout each of these experiences, a certain personal truth has remained constant. For 10 years, I have been nervous about the work. I have raised millions of dollars, built entire departments, grown donor databases, and created robust outreach systems, yet I have never been able to shake that nervousness that grabs hold of you when you first begin a job.  

Why? In this instance, this is a profound question and one I ask myself often. Fundraising was never the plan. I graduated from the University of Central Oklahoma in 2007 with a degree in Broadcast Communications. Once upon a time, I wanted to be a reporter for a local television station. Then, I fell into work in higher education. From there, I discovered the nonprofit sector. Looking for an entry point, I applied for countless jobs in Oklahoma and Seattle. I didn’t possess a degree in social work. I wasn’t a project manager. I wasn’t ready to lead. Fundraising and communications work was my entry point.  

Yet, I have always felt uneasy about asking people to part with their hard-earned dollars, even if it was in the name of philanthropy. There wasn’t an undergraduate course I could take on nonprofit fundraising to overcome this fear. All my training has come from on-the-job experience. For me, this means I have always felt vastly unprepared for this work. Sure, in ten years I have grown in tremendous ways and can eloquently talk about the craft of fundraising, but a part of me will always battle imposter syndrome. A part of me will always feel like I am a fraud, and I am lying about my ability to raise money.  

So, why keep plowing forward? What my feeling brain and my thinking brain are experiencing might be vastly different. Perhaps, I need a little doubt. Perhaps needing to prove myself is a motivation. The goals before each of the places I have worked and the needs of the communities I have chosen to serve deserve someone with a chip on his shoulder working every day to prove himself to the world. Because in this work, I have experienced immeasurable joy from a job well done. I look back at my time in this field and I feel joy. Throughout my career, I have always been the first person to hold my job title. I have built a legacy wherever I have been. This reality keeps me fighting. It keeps me moving forward toward my ultimate goal. What motives you?  

Be good to each other,  

Nathan

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