Damn my restless spirit. Damn these feet that cannot stay in one place for long. Damn this wandering mind. Damn this curious sense of self left pondering what exists on the other side. In the comfort of a city I dearly love, everything was telling me to go. Everything was telling me to stay. In the end, I chose the former without understanding the thesis for such a move. Now, with the benefit of time, I know what I was meant to accomplish. Living in Los Angeles and making moves to find my way back to Seattle, I now see my place in the present tense as an opportunity to be absolutely sure. I know now. Seattle is where I want to make my forever home.

The pull of my spirit will always be hard to quiet. The need for new adventures will always be hard to ignore. I don’t know what makes me feel this way. I don’t know why I can’t settle. Yet, so much in my life would be easier if I could reframe the way in which I look at the world.

In April of next year, I am determined to part ways with Southern California. I won’t leave here defeated. I will leave this place with a smile on my face and thankful for the opportunity before me. As anxious as I am to get back to Seattle, the closing of this chapter is an opportunity to begin a new one. If all goes as planned, I will begin a six-month journey north via the Pacific Crest Trail eventually ending up back in Seattle. Undertaking such an arduous adventure will prove an ultimate point; where I lay my head each night can be basecamp for any adventure I choose. That is exactly what I intend to create in Seattle.

No longer will I tell people to get comfortable with me not being around. I can build lasting friendships. I can sew myself into the fabric of a community. I can be fully present. My adventures will no longer be about redefining myself among some new cityscape. No, my adventures will shift their focus. Soon, they will be about learning, growing, and stealing pieces to bring home with me to a place I dearly love; a love that could only be truly understood by leaving in the first place.

Be good to each other,

-Nathan

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