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Yearview Mirror (2019)

For me, 2019 was a year marked by transition. Everything around me seemed to be moving, changing, and in flux. The world beneath my feet seemed to be shifting like a violent tectonic plate, yet I found myself continuing to stand in the same spot. The last 365 days will be some I remember forever; not necessarily for everything that happened, but for how I chose to react. This is the year I learned to appreciate a deeper understanding of the word resolve. This is the year I learned patience and perseverance. This is the year I learned to take an ethical stand and realized there are some lines I will never cross. This is the year I was tried, tested, and continued to fight. Without a doubt, these are the moments that occurred this year that will shape me forever…

Long-Distance Relationship

Nothing tests a relationship like distance. In 2019, Brandon and I found ourselves living in different cities. Finances and the pursuit of education pulled Brandon back to Seattle. Work and saving money for the Pacific Crest Trail found me making LA home for another year. Given the distance and time apart, we could have easily stopped doing the work necessary to make this thing work. Instead, we chose to double down, communicate more openly and honestly, and invest more deeply in one another. The result has been like a garden flourishing with abundance as we find ourselves more deeply in love than ever before. Now, there is no doubt in my mind, we can overcome any challenge laid before us.

Death of a Friend

In March, I lost a dear friend, Tim Hendrix. His death was unexpected and sudden. It shocked me to my core and is something from which I haven’t fully recovered. Not a single day has passed that I didn’t he was still here. Trips, dinners, wineries, and little moments I know he would have loved surface almost every day. Instead of dwelling, I think of him and the gift offered by his passing. Now, I have a mandate from beyond to enjoy every single moment afforded me. We aren’t promised tomorrow, and all of this can be gone in an instant.

Skid Row Housing Trust

Nothing about my two years at Skid Row Housing Trust was easy. Without a doubt, it was the most challenging work I have ever done, and the difficulties were compounded by an environment that was toxic, unethical, immoral, and depressing. Yet, I don’t regret my time spent within those walls. Trial by fire has provided me leadership lessons I will take with me wherever I go. Thanks to all the pain, I find myself becoming a more compassionate, attentive, and honest leader. A supreme ethic has become my guiding force and will be a legacy I hope to plant wherever I land.

Pacific Crest Trail

Over the last year, I hiked countless miles, conducted hours upon hours of research, and completed my gear list all in preparation for the Pacific Crest Trail. Now, I find myself less than 100 days away. Inside of me, there is growing excitement, nervousness, anxiety, and joy. In March of next year, I get to realize a longtime dream. I will arrive at Campo, California and begin hiking to Canada. On that day, my dream will come true, but it was all made possible by the work done in 2019.

Making Friends

Finally, 2019 was defined by the people I chose to surround myself; the friends who have become my Los Angeles family. It is these people who are making leaving so hard. Among them, I found fellow creators, proud LGBTQ brothers, ethical leaders, moral compasses, comedians, and shoulders to lean on when life tests. Each one of them has given me a gift that I will cherish for the rest of my life. They made 2019 worthy of remembering and for that, I am eternally grateful.

Be good to each other,

Nathan

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