Life is about finding wins. These moments are an amalgamation of goals realized and dreams coming to fruition. We place these future markers in the sand with the expectation if we follow the right steps, work really hard, and are good to people, these things we hope for will be realized. But, what happens when our best-laid plans go awry? What happens when we don’t get the job? Our offer on a house is rejected? That special someone says no? How we deal with this disappointment says as much about us as how we deal with the victories. I believe, we, as human beings, need our hearts broken from time to time. While I wish with my heart of hearts these moments were fleeting and didn’t come at you with successive force, there is still value in having to find other ways to win.

These moments in time force us to put the pieces back together. Analyzing our lives is important. While not getting this or that job has been disappointing for me, stepping back with fresh eyes I have realized a lot about myself. I do need more experience hiring and firing people. I need more experience leading teams. I need to spend some more time researching ways to get involved with the issues I care about. These lessons were hard to learn and their repetition is tiring, but the pieces picked up helped me find new leadership roles with my work and within the groups where I volunteer. I’ve started seeking out opportunities to sit on hiring committees. My focus has been sharpened, because of the disappointment. I keep fighting. Why? Because these things that are close to my heart, I believe in them with every fiber of my being.

These moments also reveal our humanity. We aren’t perfect. There is no such thing as a perfect leader. We each have gaps and areas needing some attention. When we fail or come up short, we are provided with the opportunity to rally the troops, draw friends and family close and assess what to do next. I would be nothing without my support group. I think that is worth repeating. I would be nothing without my support group. While I struggle with confidence, anxiety, and internal/external frustrations, I know I am who I am, because someone out there loves me. We as humans should feel that love not only when things are going well, but also when times get tough.

Vulnerability is a powerful state. From time to time, we need to let our guard down and allow ourselves to be surrounded by those who love us. We have to let people in. We shouldn’t be afraid to seek guidance. This has been one of the hardest lessons of my life to learn. My independent spirit and this desire to not pass my burden onto others keep me from sharing. More often than not, when I pull back the curtain, I find the people in my life have a lot of wisdom to offer. When your heart breaks, you have been presented with a gift in disguise; an opportunity to soak up some wisdom.

Not every heartbreak in our lives equates to a tragedy, but these are perfect moments offering change. By ignoring this chance, we ignore the possibility to change, grow and learn. These possibilities should be the silver lining in our moment of weakness. We may not yet possess the tools to change, but the ground is fertile. We just need to be open to the experience, analyze the disappointment and surround ourselves with people who lift us up. When we do, we can become something new and better; that is the lesson here.

Thanks for entering my world,

-Nathan